Signs

Sign - Next to the loo in Corfu

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER THAT READ:
“We will heel you.
“We will save your sole.
“We will even dye for you.”

Sign over a Gynaecologist’s Office:
“Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”

In a Podiatrist’s office:
“Time wounds all heels.”

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday’s Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist’s Office:
“If you don’t see what you’re looking for,
You’ve come to the right place.”

On a Plumber’s truck :
“We repair what your husband fixed.”

On another Plumber’s truck:
“Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”

At a Tyre Shop in Milwaukee :
“Invite us to your next blowout.”

On an Electrician’s truck:
“Let us remove your shorts.”

In a Non-smoking Area:
“If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”

On a Maternity Room door:
“Push. Push. Push.”

At a Car Dealership:
“The best way to get back on your feet – miss a car payment.”

Outside a Muffler Shop
“No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”

In a Veterinarian’s waiting room:
“Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”

At the Electric Company:
“We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don’t, YOU will be de-lighted.”

In a Restaurant window:
“Don’t stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
“Drive carefully. We’ll wait.”

At a Propane Filling Station:
“Thank Heaven for little grills.”

In a Chicago Radiator Shop
“Best place in town to take a leak.”

And the best one for last…
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
“Caution – This Truck is full of Political Promises”

By the way the sign at the top is real. At our villa in Corfu there was one in each bathroom next to the loo. Although I did not ask the owners, I am going to “assume” that the villa, which was on a hillside, was not connected to a sewage system such as most of us are used to but to an on-site septic tank.

And, yes, there was a small covered bin next to each toilet for the used paper.

And, no, the bathrooms did not smell — and, after the first day, accidental paper flushing was uncommon.