Cabernet Sauvignon — Health Benefits

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

Do you feel stressed at times?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, ask your doctor, pharmacist, bartender or neighborhood lush about Cabernet Sauvignon.

Cabernet Sauvignon is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. It can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you’re ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Cabernet Sauvignon almost immediately and, with a regimen of regular doses, you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living.

Cabernet Sauvignon may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use it. However, women who wouldn’t mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.

Side effects may include:
Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, loss of motor control, loss of motor vehicle control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

Warnings:
The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may cause you to think you can sing.
The consumption of Cabernet Sauvignon may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Please feel free to share this important information with as many people as you feel may benefit!

Now just imagine what you could achieve with a good Shiraz or Merlot…

LIFE IS A CABERNET OLD CHUM!

Breaking News from A-FNN — 5.26.17

Breaking News — from A-FNN

Dateline — Washington DC

A-FNN White House correspondent Amber Gris reports that unnamed, but highly placed, sources within the Trump White House have confirmed our earlier reports about President Trump’s decision to cut funds from the Federal Budget for California’s earthquake early-warning system. Also included was the decision to eliminate funding for tsunami-monitoring stations in oceans.

When asked about this President Trump replied: “Yes, we intend to focus on core USGS science and efficiency. While California (a state in which millions of illegals voted for my opponent in the last election) will lose funding, states which sit astride the New Madrid fault in the interior of our nation (and legally voted for me) will see earthquake research monies increased.

“Most of the rest of our great nation cares nothing about “Blue California” and will little mourn its loss in a major earthquake. Besides, I and many of my colleagues own land in California’s interior, and its neighboring states which will become valuable coastal resort properties when California slides into the Pacific.”


http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-trump-budget-earthquake-early-warning-20170525-htmlstory.html


A-FNN: Alternative-Fact News Nutwork

Breaking News from A-FNN

Breaking News — from A-FNN

Dateline — Washington DC

A-FNN White House correspondent Amber Gris reports that unnamed, but highly placed, sources within the Trump White House have confirmed our earlier reports about President Trump’s about-face regarding the current investigations regarding his campaign’s and administration’s ties to Putin and Russia.

According to these sources, Mr. Trump will issue instructions on his return to the United States that all members of his administration cooperate fully and openly with any and all queries issued by the special prosecutor’s office regarding ties to Russia. Also, included in this are those active who were in his campaign but not currently employed by his administration.

“Openness and transparency in government are important to the working of our political system,” said Mr. Trump. “I am therefore instructing all of those associated with my administration and campaign to fully and truthfully answer all pertinent questions posed to them by Justice Department and Congressional investigators.

“Also, hiding behind the Fifth Amendment is unacceptable. A person who hides behind the Fifth Amendment is merely confirming his guilt.

“Truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is the only acceptable behavior for those entrusted with running the government of the United States. Only through the truth will we be able to Make America Great Again.”


A-FNN: Alternative-Fact News Nutwork

Walking with Ivana and Donald

The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.

The instructor said, “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial – strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier.  Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface, something like grass.”

“Gentlemen, remember — you’re in this together. It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both.”

The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

After a few moments a man, Donald, at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.

“Yes?” said the Instructor.

“I was just wondering.  Would it be all right if she carries a golf bag?”

Brings a tear to your eye, doesn’t it?

THIS LEVEL OF SENSITIVITY CAN’T BE TAUGHT.

Presidential Quotations

Quotations, random or not, from America’s Presidents


“Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.” GW

“I pray Heaven to bestow the best of blessing on this house (the White House) and on all that shall hereafter inhabit it. May none but honest and wise men ever rule under this roof!” JA

“The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.” TJ

“The truth is that all men having power ought to be mistrusted.” JM

“National honor is a national property of the highest value.” JM

“Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost.” JQA

“I know what I am fit for. I can command a body of men in a rough way; but I am not fit to be President.” AJ

“As to the Presidency, the two happiest days of my life were those of my entrance upon the office and my surrender of it.” MVB

“A decent and manly examination of the acts of the Government should be not only tolerated, but encouraged.” WHH

“Here lies the body of my good horse, ‘The General.’ For twenty years he bore me around the circuit of my practice, and in all that time he never made a blunder. Would that his master could say the same!” JT

“No president who performs his duties faithfully and conscientiously can have any leisure.” JKP

“For more than half a century, during which kingdoms and empires have fallen, this Union has stood unshaken. The patriots who formed it have long since descended to the grave; yet still it remains, the proudest monument to their memory. . .” ZT

“An honorable defeat is better than a dishonorable victory.” MF

“The revenue of the country, levied almost insensibly to the taxpayer, goes on from year to year, increasing beyond either the interests or the prospective wants of the Government.” FP

“The ballot box is the surest arbiter of disputes among freemen.” JB

“You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time.” AL

“If the rabble were lopped off at one end and the aristocrat at the other, all would be well with the country.” AJ

“My failures have been errors of judgment, not of intent.” USG

“Nothing brings out the lower traits of human nature like office seeking.” RBH

“A brave man is a man who dares to look the Devil in the face and tell him he is a Devil.” JAG

“If it were not for the reporters, I would tell you the truth.” CAA

“A man is known by the company he keeps, and also by the company from which he is kept out.” GC

“The disfranchisement of a single legal elector by fraud or intimidation is a crime too grave to be regarded lightly.” BH

“That’s all a man can hope for during his lifetime—to set an example—and when he is dead, to be an inspiration for history.” WM

“To announce that there must be no criticism of the president, or that we are to stand by the president, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.” TR

“The intoxication of power rapidly sobers off in the knowledge of its restrictions and under the prompt reminder of an ever-present and not always considerate press, as well as the kindly suggestions that not infrequently come from Congress.” WHT

“America was established not to create wealth but to realize a vision, to realize an ideal – to discover and maintain liberty among men.” TWW

“”My God, this is a hell of a job! I have no trouble with my enemies . . . but my damn friends, they’re the ones that keep me walking the floor nights.” WGH

“Character is the only secure foundation of the state.” JCC

“Absolute freedom of the press to discuss public questions is a foundation stone of American liberty.” HCH

“A good leader can’t get too far ahead of his followers.” FDR

“We need not fear the expression of ideas—we do need to fear their suppression.” HST

“There is nothing wrong with America that the faith, love of freedom, intelligence and energy of her citizens cannot cure.” DDE

“If we cannot end now our differences, at least we can help make the world safe for diversity.” JFK

“You ain’t learnin’ nothin’ when you’re talkin’.” LBJ

“Always give your best, never get discouraged, never be petty; always remember, others may hate you. Those who hate you don’t win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.” RMN

“Truth is the glue that holds governments together. Compromise is the oil that makes governments go.” GRF

“The best way to enhance freedom in other lands is to demonstrate here that our democratic system is worthy of emulation.” JEC

“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.” RWR

“I want a kinder, gentler nation.” GHWB

“We need a spirit of community, a sense that we are all in this together. If we have no sense of community, the American dream will wither.” WJC

“Recognizing and confronting our history is important. Transcending our history is essential. We are not limited by what we have done, or what we have left undone. We are limited only by what we are willing to do.” GWB

“We did not come to fear the future. We came here to shape it.” BO

“I thought it would be easier.” DJT