Random Thoughts

Some random thoughts on a Monday morning . . .

Charles Manson

Charles Manson is dead at the age of 83. He died some forty-eight years after those he is responsible for killing. 48 years.

How much money did we spend on his incarceration? How many school teachers could we have paid for; how many children could we have given better foster care; how many potholes could we have filled; how many . . . ? And all we needed was a single 9mm bullet (and maybe one for each of his cronies) to put him (them) out of our misery.

Jim Mora

Jim Mora was fired as UCLA’s football coach.

According to the LA Times, UCLA will pay some $12,000,000.00 to buy out the last four years of his contract.

$3,000,000.00 a year for a football coach? I thought the purpose of a university was to educate — not to act as a minor league team for a professional sports league.

Maybe I’m behind the times, but I would much rather my tax money go to provide scholarships for the next generation of doctors, scientists, engineers and teachers than to would-be future millionaire quarterbacks, pitchers and one-and-done NBA guards.

“I should have left them in jail.”

Can someone we have elected to high public office really believe that it was better to have left three young men in danger of being jailed for years in a foreign country, rather than to have helped gain their release, just because a boy’s father was publicly ungrateful to him?

A case of punishing the child for the words of a father?

Justice League

Justice League, from Warner Brothers, took in some $96,000,000 this weekend. That was about as much as the next five movies combined. Yet, it was a disappointment.

A $96,000,000 disappointment — aw . . . breaks my heart. C’mon, guys (and gals) how about something new and entertaining that’s not just for teenagers.


Thanksgiving

Is it just me (again) or is there more attention being given to “Black Friday” and the buying and selling of billions of dollars of goods imported from East Asia than there is to giving thanks for what we have?

Oh, yeah, and what about those who are forced to work on Thanksgiving Thursday?

I wonder how many of them are among our lowest paid workers, some working more than one job, and are giving thanks to have a job and are happy to have the additional hours to provide for themselves and their families — especially here in expensive OC SoCal?


Well, perhaps some of these thoughts aren’t so random after all.


Another gratuitous cat picture.

Smoke and Mist on Di's robe and British flag blanket.
Smoke and Mist on Di’s robe and British flag blanket.

Coffee

CATHOLIC MORNING COFFEE

Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peter’s Square.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”

The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”

The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says ‘Your Eminence’.”

The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, “Well….?”

She proudly replies, I have a daughter, SLIM & TALL, 40″ D BUST, 24″ WAIST and 34″ HIPS! When she walks into a room, people say, ‘JESUS!’.”


Another Gratuitous Cat Picture

Mist and Smoke
Mist and Smoke

Tidy?

Perhaps this should come under the heading of: This tells me more about you than you probably want me to know.

I’ve written previously about people leaving flyers and attachments on doorknobs and handles, sticking them in the door frame or behind the screen door, placing them in the mailbox and simply leaving them in the driveway or on the porch.

I consciously avoid using any of the businesses which do any of the above because I believe that this form of advertising is messy and simply alerts thieves that no one is at home and the crook has time to break and enter and rob.

Well, today I found sheet of printed cardstock that was headed “TIDY” — SIMPLE PRICING. NO NEED TO TIP.

Right.

You throw a piece of cardboard on my front porch and because your name is TIDY you expect me to hire you to “clean” my house?

No, I don’t think so. You mess up the outside — there is no way on God’s green Earth that I let you inside to “clean” my house.


Oh, and here’s a gratuitous cat picture featuring Mist, Smoke and an Amazon box.

Mist and Smoke Boxed
Mist and Smoke Boxed

New Mexico Chili Cook-Off

New Mexico Chili Cook-off

This is an actual account as relayed to paramedics at a chili cook-off in New Mexico . . .

For those of you who have lived in New Mexico or tasted your way across it, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the Santa Fe Plaza. Judge #3 was an inexperienced chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield, IL.

Chili -- Sharing the SoCal Autumn Sun
Sharing the SoCal Autumn Sun

Frank: “Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off.. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native New Mexicans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3.”

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

CHILI # 1 – MIKE’S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI

Judge # 1 — A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 — Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) — Holy crap, what the h— is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These New Mexicans are crazy.

CHILI # 2 – EL RANCHO’S AFTERBURNER CHILI

Judge # 1 — Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 — Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 — Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Chili -- Nesting
Nesting

CHILI # 3 – ALFREDO’S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI

Judge # 1 — Excellent firehouse chili Great kick.
Judge # 2 — A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 — Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. The Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting sh*t-faced from all of the beer.

CHILI # 4 – BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC

Judge # 1 — Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 — Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 — I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. This 300 lb. woman is starting to look HOT . . .  Just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

CHILI # 5 – LISA’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER

Judge # 1 — Meaty, strong chili. Jalapeno peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 — Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the jalapeno peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 — My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted, and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really ticks me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. HELP !!

Chili -- Nesting
Nesting

CHILI # 6 – VARGA’S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY

Judge # 1 — Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 — The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 — My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I crapped on myself when I farted, and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

CHILI # 7 – SUSAN’S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI

Judge # 1 — A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 — Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 — You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing. It’s too painful.  I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.

CHILI # 8 – BIG TOM’S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI

Judge # 1 — The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 — This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor fella, wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chili?
Judge # 3 — No report